A prodigal prince and the need for reconciliation

A father and two sons whose relationship breaks down. A younger brother who spurns the family and its trade, moving instead to a far country. An older brother who refuses to have anything to do with his sibling. An eventual return and uncertain resolution for the two brothers.

Sound familiar? I am, of course, talking about the surprise announcement this week that Harry and Meghan – the Duke and Duchess of Sussex – will be returning to the UK this month. You thought I was talking about another well-known story from the lips of Jesus? That parable has more than a few parallels, as we will see shortly…

Wednesday saw the out-of-the-blue announcement of the Sussexes’ return, the story broken initially by the Daily Telegraph. The news seemed to come as a surprise to everyone. Royal commentators were in shock, and even those closest to the royals seemed to have no idea what was brewing. Both the King and Prime Minister were also taken by surprise, with the monarch only being informed about Harry and Meghan’s plans a few days beforehand. Even Lucy Powell, the Education Secretary, who might have had a heads-up because of the children’s schooling, said that she found out via social media much like the rest of us.

What makes this move so surprising is that only recently the duke and duchess had signalled that a return to the UK was out of the question. When Harry was in the country last year he lost a very public legal battle over the downgrading of his security while in Britain. As a result he said: “I can't see a world in which I would bring my wife and children back to the UK at this point.” Even those involved in the Invictus Games Foundation, a cause close to Harry’s heart and one he works closely with, had no idea what was coming.

Interestingly, the things that seemed to prevent the Sussexes from returning to Britain haven’t really changed. The security issue that was a particular concern for the duke doesn’t seem to have been resolved. The press spotlight on the duchess is unlikely to have shifted all that much in the past years. Just this year, Harry testified in a privacy case against the publishers of the Daily Mail, which he and other figures lost. He said of the press: “They've made my wife’s life an absolute misery.” In an interview in 2022, Meghan said that she would “never be able to do school pick-up and drop-off” in Britain “without it being a royal photo call”. It seems unlikely that this relationship with the media has altered all that much since they have been in the US, and their return might increase the interest from the press all the more.

The former press secretary to Queen Elizabeth II summarised the situation well: “It's an extraordinary surprise, it's a bolt out of the blue really,” she told the BBC’s Today programme. Royal expert Robert Hardman commented that “Surprise is an understatement,” adding that the Sussexes “have always been very good at delivering surprises”.

So why the surprise announcement, and why now?

Like many people, the Sussexes’ move might be partly motivated by work. Harry is involved with charitable work, and especially the Invictus Games, which are being held in Birmingham next year. This would mean plenty of travel back and forth if they were still in the US, but much easier to manage if they lived in the UK. Meghan is working on her ‘As Ever’ brand, which is just as easy to manage here as in the States. There are even suggestions that she has been offered acting roles in the UK which might be further incentive to relocate.

Even with those work considerations, it seems the biggest motivation behind the move is their family. The couple’s two children, Prince Archie (aged 7) and Princess Lilibet (aged 5), have largely grown up in California. The complexities of the Royal Family, and the Sussexes’ relationship with them, have meant they have seen very little of Britain.

Harry has made it clear he misses the UK and would like his children to experience British life and culture. Both Archie and Lilibet have now been enrolled in school here and are due to start in early September. This suggests that the Sussexes intend to stay in the country for an extended period of time and allow the children to have their education here.

In many ways, the questions that the duke and duchess are considering are no different to any other ordinary couple: the right thing for their family, the best education opportunities for their children, and dealing with the complexities of their extended family.

Things have been strained between Harry and Meghan and the rest of the Royal Family for some time. Their interview with Oprah Winfrey and the publication of Harry’s memoir ‘Spare’ led many to believe that they had burnt their bridges with the rest of the family for good. Accusations of racism, calling Queen Camilla a ‘villain’, and details of disagreements between Harry and William have all caused damage to their relationships.

Some of those family issues seemed to thaw in July this year when the duke and duchess brought the children to the UK for the first time since 2022. Their time with the King and Queen indicated better relationships between Harry and his father, and the possibility of strengthening family bonds. Their move back to the UK was not discussed at that meeting in July but the King is reported to be pleased to be able to see more of his family in a personal and private capacity. Harry has also spoken about his desire to spend more time with his father, especially after the King’s cancer diagnosis over two years ago.

It is going to take much more work to repair the relationship between the duke and his brother however. Allegations of thrown punches and broken dog bowls in Harry’s book have meant that the pair have not spoken in some time. Once source expected William to be ‘apoplectic’ about the Sussexes’ plans to return to the UK. It remains to be seen how much will there is on both sides to restore the relationship between the two brothers.

There are, of course, additional complexities that come from being part of the Royal Family. One that has been a sticking point for the duke is the question of security. When asked about it, the Prime Minister Andy Burnham said that the security arrangements are a “private matter,” adding that: “It's a matter for Harry and for Meghan, and we wish them well in the move that they are making.”

The security of the royals is organised by the Royal and VIP Executive Committee (Ravec), and has been a source of tension for Prince Harry. He and Meghan have been concerned about their level of protection when visiting the UK, and have asked for publicly funded security to keep them safe. Now that they are returning to live in the country, that security will need to be reviewed, but much public sentiment opposes tax-payer funds being used, which could cost up to £5 million for round-the-clock protection.

There is also the issue of the role of the duke and duchess in public life. In 2020, before they moved to California, they announced they were stepping back from royal duties. After a review a year later, Harry’s grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, confirmed that they would not “continue with the responsibilities and duties that come with a life of public service”.

Harry and Meghan have favoured a ‘half-in, half-out’ approach to public duties, giving them time to also pursue commercial ventures. They said: “We can all live a life of service. Service is universal.” The couple believe that their ‘half-in, half-out’ model of service has worked, but there seems to be little appetite among the Royal Household for this approach. As such, the duke and duchess will not be expected to return to royal duties and will remain private citizens, although very much in the public eye.

Tolstoy wrote in his opening to ‘Anna Karenina’, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”. The Royal Family, and the Sussexes as part of it, are unique in their complexities of service, security, and family scrutiny. Yet, there are also elements that each one of us can relate to. In particular, the need for reconciliation in human relationships.

At the heart of Harry’s story is a thawing relationship with his father and a broken relationship with his brother. To his credit, Harry seems to understand the importance of reconciling with his family, and the need for forgiveness. “I would love reconciliation with my family,” he has said. “There's no point continuing to fight any more, life is precious”. Harry has acknowledged that there have been “so many disagreements between myself and some of my family”, but he says that he has now forgiven them.

Have they now forgiven him? That remains to be seen. By making a move to reconcile with their family, Harry and Meghan have made themselves vulnerable. It is impossible to forgive and be forgiven without vulnerability. But this opens you up to the possibility of being hurt again.

There are various examples in the Bible of brothers needing to reconcile, and the vulnerability that it entails. Jacob fled from his brother Esau after tricking him out of his inheritance. Years later, as he prepares to meet him again, he sends lavish gifts ahead to appease his brother. As Esau comes with four hundred men, it seems as if all is lost. But Esau embraces Jacob, and Jacob realises that vulnerability before God has allowed him to be vulnerable before his brother.

Or consider Joseph, who was nearly killed by his band of brothers and sold into slavery in Egypt. He climbs to a position of importance and his brothers come to him for aid in a time of need, not knowing who he is. He tests them to see if their hearts have changed and then reveals who he truly is. His brothers are terrified that Joseph would enact vengeance for what they did (a not entirely unreasonable fear). But Joseph tells them to come close, because God was in charge of things all along.

Repentance is a necessary part of reconciliation. Jacob was a changed man due to his encounter with the living God. Joseph’s brothers demonstrated changed attitudes through their protection of their youngest sibling. Judah was even willing to step into Benjamin’s place, accepting whatever harm in his stead. For Harry and Meghan’s reconciliation to be true and lasting, there will need to be humility and repentance. Previously the duke has profited from the family’s arguments through interviews and book deals; repentance does not look for what can be gained, but what can be given.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us that reconciliation is more urgent than religious observance. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24). Church worship can wait; worship instead by repairing the relationships that God has given you.

I don’t know if Harry and Meghan have decided to come back to the UK in order to pursue reconciliation. I hope that they have, and it seems like they might. If they are willing to put aside their own agenda, and their pride, to make themselves vulnerable, I pray that their family will respond in kind and find a renewed and restored relationship.

Let’s come back to that parable we alluded to at the beginning. Jesus tells the story after similar parables about lost sheep and lost coins. He says:

I don’t know if Harry has spent his time in ‘wild living’ but, like the Sussexes, the family in Jesus’ parable experience a relationship breakdown. The younger son essentially tells his dad that he wishes him dead so he could have what he would inherit. He abandons the family business to go and enjoy himself, leaving a heartbroken father and bitter brother behind.

Eventually the young man hits rock bottom and comes to his senses. Then, we are told:

We are told that the meeting between the King and Queen, and Harry, Meghan and the children back in July was “a private family occasion”. We don’t know what happened, although I am sure it was an emotional time as King Charles was able to see his grandchildren for the first time in four years. I hope it was a happy occasion.

Did the King of England spot Harry, Meghan, Archie, and Lilibet when they were a long way off? I suspect they have palace security for that sort of thing. Did he run to them, throw his arms around them, and kiss them? Perhaps. Did he have compassion on his estranged family? I hope so.

We can only speculate about the king’s reaction. But we do not need to speculate about our Father God’s reaction to us, or how the King of Kings responds to a repentant sinner who comes home. He seeks us out and welcomes us into His arms. He clothes us with honour and calls us His beloved child. He throws us a party.

Time will tell what will happen with the Sussexes and their family. But their return reminds us of the power of reconciliation, and the need we have for reconciliation with our Father in heaven. However much we have broken our relationship with God, and however many regrets we have, we find a King and Father who restores us. I hope and pray that King and Queen, Duke and Duchess, William and Harry, Meghan and Kate, all find a deeply restored family bond with one another. I pray that through this they, and we, might see something of the lavish grace and goodness of God made visible too.