I felt called to Politics; my rallying cry was ‘no one left behind’. I loved my hometown, and I loved my country. I also thought at 44, I was pretty rich in life experience and professional working years. What could go wrong?!
Nothing quite prepared me for life as an MP.
The expectations are towering and immediate. On Day 1, I opened my new inbox to find over 2,000 emails: calls for national and international action were interwoven with very personal requests for my urgent help.
Recruiting a parliamentary team starts immediately, but it takes time. It also takes a special kind of person to take up these roles; my team underwent training in self-defence.
Is the risk all hyped up?
In 2017, when a local man went to prison for threatening to kill me, it was the first case of its kind in the country. By the time I left the House of Commons in 2024, it was two-a-penny.
During my only 7 years, I lost two parliamentary colleagues through the murders of Jo Cox and David Amess. As a legacy of my time in Parliament, I have a sizeable bag attached to the letterbox of my front door which deals with incendiary devices and a panic button (now disconnected!) by my bed.
And for all its benefits, I’m afraid social media would go into my Room 101. There’s something particularly pernicious about nameless, faceless adversaries: those keyboard warriors who stalked my every post, and were so relentless in their judgment and hate, could well have been the person sitting opposite me on the train, behind me in the queue at Sainsburys, or serving me in the pub.
As an MP, you certainly make sacrifices. And as a measure of how much it takes over your life, a while after losing the election, just picking up a bit of shopping, I was asked by a curious customer, “did you used to be Caroline Ansell?”
Divorce rates spike in Parliament; you live part-time in different worlds. Your children are starved of your time: “I can see you on the telly,” said one son. “I’ve subscribed to your e-newsletter” said my mum. WhenKate Forbes announced she wasn’t going to run for re-election in Scotland next year I understood without question. She wants another child, and Parliament can take everything you’ve got.
MPs are human too. It is right that a higher standard is called for from public representatives. But MPs are open to all the same failings and weaknesses as the rest of us. In their time in office, they may well know loss and grief. They may experience accident and injury. They will feel the warmth of your appreciation and the sting of your judgment.
And you just never know where someone is at, sometimes quite literally. I remember a stinging email from one of my constituents: he branded me a “coward” for not “turning up” for one particularly contentious vote. He was at least gracious enough to apologise when I explained that at that very moment, I was just over the river at St Thomas’ A & E with a head injury.
This is no ordinary role.
But having said all of that, it is an extraordinary role! It is a very precious thing when someone gives you their vote; it is an honour to speak for the 80,000 people whose interests you represent and whose hopes and concerns you carry.
And it is extraordinary that we – limited as we are! - are called to partner with God in His plans and purposes. I heard a very impactful preach at a summer festival this year, that as Christians, we are “to build altars, dig wells and be pillars”. That applies to any and every place of work, and even a Palace like Westminster.
Yes, MPs sacrifice many things. On the altar goes your private life, your personal life, your career and your reputation: wearing a rosette can certainly burn some bridges!
But there is living water too. My personal well in Parliament was in the friendships and the fellowship with Christian colleagues. I would steal 30 minutes for the weekly service in St Mary Undercroft, a beautiful, little subterranean chapel off Westminster Hall, where I was able to study the Bible and pray with other Christians in Parliament.
There’s no stronger antidote to political-party-tribalism than hearing an ‘opposition’ MP lift up in prayer the heartache you’re feeling for your son. And reading from a 2000-year-old book is the very best leveller, even as you sit in that historic, iconic place. Our time (in this life) is indeed as a wisp of smoke.
And anyone who has ever done a tour of Parliament will know that there is no shortage of stone pillars in the Palace of Westminster!
I hope I was a pillar for the sanctity of life, speaking up for babies in the womb and the most vulnerable at the end of their lives. But the key thing about pillars is that they also need other pillars to hold up the roof! All my best work as an MP was achieved by working in lockstep with others: MPs and ministers in Parliament, and local people, agencies and charities in the constituency. An MP’s superpower is their ability to bring people together.
As I look back, my 7 years in Parliament seemed to have passed in a blur. The huge constitutional challenge of Brexit, a global pandemic, and war in Europe, all of which took place in that time frame, have perhaps added to the sensation of ‘G-force’.
In election terms, I lost two, and won two, but ultimately, I hope I found favour in my audience of One. I answered the call. I achieved things I’m proud of. I made mistakes. I did my very best. And that is all any of us can offer.
My new role now sees me endeavouring to engage with and support MPs and Peers of all parties and none. I hope my time in Parliament has given me insight into the pressures they face and the expectations I can have on their time.
And beyond the research, briefings and speeches we provide, I pray for our Parliamentarians, our government, and our country.
For me, knowing that Christians were praying for me made such a difference. I could literally feel the power of those prayers in my stride and in the strength of my voice; having to be so much away from home, I especially appreciated the prayers that I know went up for my young sons.
If we want good people to step up for public office – and I believe with all my heart that government is an essential, good and godly pillar in our society – then whether we agree or disagree with them, as Christians, let us look to ‘Love your MP as ourselves’.